Quotables
by Lacey52
Summary: Bunch of oneshots based on quotes that I like.  A little of everything from fluff to angst, ratings run from M to K.
1. Secrets of Me

_**Secrets of Me  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: This is not in the same universe as LITC…at all! It's a dark humor type of thing that came to me last night at about one in the morning…and actually was interesting enough to me that I got up and wrote down the main points…that hasn't happened to me in a long while.

Anywho, it's based on a quote which will appearat the end. You'll figure it out eventually, lol…Episodes are out of order for a reason, and no worries, there isn't any character death. ;D

This is meant to be taken as a joke or a parody…I have a twisted sense of humor at times…

No, I'm not belittling suicide. I'm actually trained in suicide prevention, and I know that it is a very serious problem. If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen. Sometimes though, I just need to let off a little steam dealing with certain subjects and this is what came out. Hope you guys enjoy. If you don't like Dark with a twist of Humor, turn back now…

**Genre**: Angst/Humor  
**Rating**: M for serious contemplation of suicide

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Danny has a secret.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Danny had that damnable secret for almost a year now. Ever since he got his powers, since he became a hero, since he was forced to grow up, thrust into a world no fourteen year old should ever have to experience. He had enemies, he had death and life in his hands, he had choices.

The first time he noticed the secret that he was holding was his first fight with a ghost. The temptation had been growing, eating him alive from the inside out from the moment he was electrocuted in the portal and imbued with his ghostly abilities.

He wanted to die. He needed to be gone from this earth. His only desire for the first few weeks was to become a full ghost. The hunger for this was burning him alive.

His secret wasn't such a terrible thing in his own mind, but he knew to those around him it would be terrifying. Maybe it was because he was half a ghost that it no longer scared him.

He was, after all, already half dead. Nothing can really scare a person after they realize that, or so he thought.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
**_Danny had a plan.  
_**.o.O.o.o.O.o.

It was such a simple, beautiful plan and it would have worked, from the very first try he gave it. It was ingenious, completely doable. Danny had found an answer to the problem that was keeping him awake at night, that was causing him to want to be Phantom more and more, and Fenton less and less.

It should have worked, but it never did. Over and over Danny tried to implement his idea, tried to put everything into motion, just right, so it would end the way he wished it.

But every time, something was there to keep him from completing his plan. Every time, there was something that got in his way.

Every single time…there was a person to keep it from happening.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Danny forgot there were others in his life.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Jack Fenton, Danny's own father, did not often step into Danny's life and interfere with his careful planning. He rarely caused him any trouble when the opportunity arose to go through with his scheme.

But when he did, he did it in a big way. Like the time Vlad put a bounty on his head. Danny sacrificed himself to his father thinking that maybe that would be the time it ended, but he was wrong.

Unfortunately for Danny, he was, pardon the pun, dead wrong. Jack Fenton did not manage to kill Danny, and in the end Danny had to protect his father and everyone else.

Just like always.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Danny decided that Jack was his razor, too painful to use.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

His mother, too, was a problem only rarely to Danny.

When Vlad had tricked them into going to his Wisconsin home, Danny thought, 'This is it. This is the time, if I play my cards right. I'll act like I'm trying to win, but I won't be able to. Everything is set, my plan will work this time!'

But his mother was like his father, she stopped his plans in a big way. A mother and son moment or two was all it took for Danny to realize that he actually had to try and survive this encounter. He could only sigh with resignation as to his fate.

He'd have to live again…he didn't want her to cry.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Maddie was a river, she would make everything damp.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Of course there was Sam, the Goth who could get into his head and under his skin like no other in the world. His best friend for years, the one he turned to the most often, the one he cared for almost as much as he cared for his secret. Maybe even more, if his first fight proved anything to him.

The Lunch Lady Ghost was not happy with the change of menu, and it happened to be all Sam's fault. He decided that it would be a great way to end it all, in a dramatic battle like some fairy-tale hero. An epic tragedy.

Alas, he realized that if he ended it then, that Sam would still be in danger. Nothing in the world would allow him to follow through with his plan if it meant that Sam would be hurt physically.

The incident with Freakshow only served to reinforce that fact in Danny's head, as so many other ghost fights had already proven to him. It would have been so easy to have just mindlessly served the crazed man for the rest of eternity as a ghost. He wouldn't have to change back to a human ever again, and the ravenous hunger of that tiny part of his mind would be appeased.

But Sam was there and needed him. He had to help. He couldn't fail, even though he wanted to so very badly.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Sam was an acid, she stained him like no other.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Tucker, Danny would always chuckle to himself when he realized what Tucker was to him and how weird it sounded.

Tucker was another one of his downfalls, one of his best friends. The boy even managed to overcome his fear of hospitals to help him once, and that said a lot to Danny.

The first time though, was the most poignant in the halfa's opinion. When Desiree had granted Tucker ghost powers, Danny thought he had a foolproof opportunity to not only save Tucker, but finally have the chance to end his plan.

He'd let Tucker kill him and then the shock would revert him. Simple, easy plan, that would end with only a little sadness…then of course Danny realized how Tucker would feel when he realized he killed his best friend.

A nauseous feeling crept up on Danny as he thought about how he had almost misused his friend.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Danny decided Tucker was a drug, he caused too many cramps.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Valerie Gray, too, would interfere quite often. When she first started hunting him, he though, 'Alright, perfect opportunity, a ghost hunter. That would be a plausible way to die.'

Of course then he fought her and realized, while she could probably hold her own for a while, she would never be able to match up to some of the ghosts he fought. She wasn't strong enough or fast enough. He had to hold back when fighting her, and that could only mean one thing.

She was yet another person who ruined his plan by needing him, even if she didn't know it. She needed someone to protect her, someone who could defend her. She became out of bounds for him to use as an escape route.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Valerie was a gun, dangerous enough for the job, but illegal.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Then there was Jazz. His beautiful older sister who was often trying to find her way into his life simply because she was worried about him. She was loving and annoying and funny and too smart for her own good.

When Johnny 13 came, Danny began to think as he had with Tucker. If he died while fighting Johnny and Jazz saw him change back before he actually died, she'd have a major fall out with him and he'd have no power over her. He'd win, she'd win, and everyone could be happy.

Then he remembered what he had with Tucker. Jazz would blame herself and that would do no good. He was stuck yet again, and more so after she found out he was both Danny Phantom and Danny Fenton. He really couldn't escape her keen, psychologically functioning mind after that…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
_**Jazz was his noose, but the knot always gave.  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

And of course there was the one person who Danny never even dreamed could manage to interfere. Surely the popular people would feel no remorse in the long run for loosing the 'loser.'

But it wasn't so much the person as it was the halfa's own pride who prevented Danny from living out his twisted fantasy. Dash Baxter, in Danny's mind, was not allowed to keep getting away with everything.

Yes, Dash, because he so irked Danny that he'd give up his chance of staying in the ghost zone permanently just to make sure the real bully was known to Poindexter.

Danny didn't have any problems deciding what Dash was to him.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
**_Dash was Danny's gas, the sickening smell that he couldn't stand for long enough to die.  
_**.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Those seven people had complete control over Danny's life and didn't even know. He was a damn good actor if he did say so himself, and he actually did quite often under his breath, for them not to notice him wanting to die...go ghost forever...

They had complete dominion over his non-death, over him having to live. And in the end, or near the beginning, or perhaps somewhere near themiddle (for Danny was never sure how much time he had left on this planet) the halfa came toa suddenrealization.

He decided that maybe it was okay to be half and half. To be a hybrid. He didn't have to belong to either world, because he had family who loved him, friends that cared for him, people that he could protect, and people who could irritate him and keep him on his toes.

And when Danny decided all that, he came to his second realization. If things were going to keep getting in his way, what was the point in trying? The burn, the ache, the need, the hunger, the desire all went away within a week, though sometimes he ponders what it would be like to be wholly ghost, or wholly child again.

But that's when he draws himself up and looks around him. When he realizes that he _is _scared, not for himself, but for those he caresabout. That's when he stopsand says one thing to himself.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
"_**Everything's too complicated, I might as well live."  
**_.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"_Razors pain you, rivers are damp,  
Acid stains you, and drugs cause cramps.  
Guns aren't lawful, nooses give,  
Gas smells awful – you might as well live."  
_**--Dorothy Parker, _Résumé _**


	2. Milk Out Your Nose

**_Milk Out Your Nose_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A Note_: Here's something a bit lighter. I needed to do something like this just to balance myself out…

**Genre**: Humor/Romance  
**Rating**: T for slight innuendo

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"So," Tucker ventured to the pair sitting at the table with him, "what's up you guys? You look like you know something I don't…"

"Well," Danny tilted his head slightly, his eyes twinkling mischievously, "To put it simply, we do."

"It's actually pretty obvious and everyone already assumes it's true," Sam smiled as she spread ranch dressing over her salad, "It's not that hard to guess, Tucker, I mean you've only been on my case about it for, like, two years."

"What?" one of the girls walking by stopped to stare at both Sam and Danny, "So it's true?"

"Yeah," Danny smiled as he threwone arm around Sam, "It's true. We are now officially dat…"

But Danny was interrupted with the milk carton at his lips, Tucker with a fry about to enter his mouth, and Sam with a forkful of salad ready to go down the hatch.

"Oh my God!" the girl cried as the trio finished their eating actions, "Sam, you're pregnant?"

Danny lost it to laughter, milk shooting out of his nose as he desperately tried to get a hold of himself and respond negatively to the idiotic girl's question. Sam simply swallowed and began to laugh as well, quickly telling the girl that she wasn't pregnant, rather she and Danny were officially dating.

Poor Tucker, who had been about to eat his fry, had instead inhaled it and was trying desperately to cough it back up. Sam and Danny both went to his assistance, patting him hard on the back…which was really just a cover for Danny to phase his arm into the boy and get the fry out of his throat, "You know that fry might have gone down easier if you had put some ketchup on it or something…"

Tucker didn't respond and hung his head slightly. He had an almost glazed look in his eyes and seemed to be wanting to ask Danny a question.The boyappeared too tongue tied to get it out though.

"What?" Danny noticed the techno-whiz's freaked out expression, "You didn't believe her did you?"

Tucker remained quiet and still, blushing though he was for having thought the girl was telling the truth. Sam simply smirked, "I guess that lesson in health class applies to more than one thing."

"What's that?" both boys asked her.

"Practice safe eating," she quipped, "always use condiments."

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"_Practice safe eating, always use condiments."  
_**--Can't remember for sure where I got it, but I think it was an anonymous quote**


	3. Everyone Loves A Slinky

_**Everyone Loves A Slinky  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note:_ Heh…everyone knows, 'Everyone loves a slinky,' and you know…everyone _does_ love them, but maybe they all love the slinky for different reasons…I'm so evil….

Genre: Humor, bordering on dark  
**Rating**: T, because someone gets hurt, lol….

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Now, Sam Manson was never one to love the popular kids.

She actually often times disliked them, not because they were popular or rich or anything as shallow as that. No, she disliked them for a completely different reason.

She disliked them because they _thought_ they could get away with anything. Because they believe that popularity would be key in getting them through life. She wanted to slap them silly for it, knock some sense into them, but Sam knew it would be futile.

She didn't _hate _them, for hate is really such a strong word. She _hated_ people who killed innocent animals who couldn't defend themselves. Give a guy a knife and a bow and arrow and let him go after a grizzly bear, one on one. That was fair. Slaughter cows after fattening them up for burgers? Uh-uh, totally unfair.

Watching the popular kids and seeing the adults let them disillusion themselves, Sam felt as though she was watching small children _let_ themselves get eaten by the wolves. They had the intelligence if only they'd get their heads out of the clouds long enough to realize what was happening...or rather, what _was_ going to happen.

Alas and alack, they liked their popularity too much to pull their heads out of their butts long enough to see the world around them. Sam disliked them because of this. They were far too self absorbed to be of any good to any one. Plus they treated her friends as though they were less than the dirt they walked on.

That was definitely a major factor.

Everyone at school knew how the Goth kid felt about the preps and jocks. About the pretty ones and the popular ones. But they misunderstood her reasons.

Well, they misunderstood her reasons for disliking everyone except Paulina…that one they had right.

So she let it slip when people all assumed why she started whistling the old slinky tune.

They thought it was because she hated the popular kids. Sam could only laugh to herself about the fact that _this_ time they had actually guessed right.

When Paulina had stepped down on that ice covered top step at the entrance of the school, and as a result tumbled down and broke her perfectly sculpted arm and blemished her beautiful and nearly blemish free skin….well, let's just say that Sam couldn't stop whistling the old commercial tune for the rest of the day.

She was the type of person who enjoyed slinkies, not because you could stretched them for long ways, or make odd noises with them, or make them pass back and forth between your hands. Not because they were fun to play with or because they were easy to manipulate.

No…she wasn't that shallow.

She was the type of person, who as a child, had enjoyed watching slinkies tumble down the stairs…who enjoyed watching them get tangled when people tried to make them do things they weren't made to do.

Okay…so maybe she was just the tiniest bit shallow. And if she was really getting in touch with her inner self, she could admit that just maybe she was a bit sadistic at times as well..

Then again….everyone loves a slinky…but everyone loves watching them fall even more.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Some people are like a slinky; not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs."  
**--From a T-shirt I once saw….**


	4. Hope Fades

_**Hope Fades  
**_ By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: It's sad. Don't read it if you don't want sad. I've been in a rather dark mood lately…Who ever thought a funny quote could inspire something so somber?

**Genre**: Angst  
**Rating**: M

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

They knew now.

Everyone knew now, so keeping it secret didn't matter. One mistake, one slip up was all it took for his sister to find out. He should have figured that it could happen again. That it would happen again. The universe seemed to enjoy laughing at his plight.

Why did they all know? Simple. He had to say goodbye, both ways, in both forms. She deserved that, because he had made a mistake.

No, it wasn't Sam, he was saying goodbye to, else wise the world might have been saying goodbye to him as well. It was Jazz.

His sister.

His confidant.

His friend.

His….his….

He couldn't find words to fit all the things Jazz was to him. All the holes in his heart she helped fill. She had been so much to him, and really he had only come to appreciate that such a short time ago. Not near enough time to let her know how much he loved her.

He hoped to God she knew that.

His parents sat in the front row of pews, dry eyed as anyone could be. They'd already spent their tears when they first found her in the lab, Danny huddled over her body, holding it, crying for the sister who wasn't there any longer to wake. The shock had forcibly changed him back into a human.

'Just wake up.'

He'd said those three words for hours, even after they'd taken her cold form from his grasp. Sam had sat by him the entire time, comforting him with soft words and holding him as he'd curled into her. Tucker had barricaded himself in the bathroom, too sick to his stomach to even hope to get five feet from the toilet.

Looking down on her form he thought back over his decision. He'd walked to her coffin, ignoring his parents and his friends. He'd leaned over and kissed her cold cheek, said goodbye as a brother, then nodded to himself and changed in front of nearly the entire town of Amity Park who had turned out for the services.

And said goodbye as the hero who had failed her.

The fight had been nothing, it was normal, impossible for them to loose. He should never have been so confident. For a moment he felt as though he could never consider himself a hero. He had fallen when she had. All heroes fell eventually…

The way his life had been lived for the past two years, ever since he had become a halfa, he should have known something would inevitably have gone wrong. That something would happen and it would be bad. No, not bad, wrong. It went so wrong…_Jazz, I'm so sorry_…how could it have ever gone so wrong?

He scolded himself over and over, rethinking everything he had done in that battle that could have possibly led to her death. He'd never be able to forget her face or the way she screamed or the blood or the…

Shuddering at the thought, he leaned over one last time, gently kissing her cheek again. He didn't dare turn to face the crowd behind him. The gasp when he had gone ghost had been bad enough.

His mother's whispered, "God, no…" was enough to send him nearly phasing into the floor to hide for the rest of his miserable life.

His life…his life was composed of making the impossible possible. Ghosts were real, there were other dimensions, he'd made it to outer space, he'd become a halfa, he fought supposedly mythological creatures, he'd lost his sister.

There was no 'impossible' in his life, or so he had thought. Now he was faced with one, and only one. He felt there would never be another quite like it. It was death itself.

It was impossible to ever see Jazz again.

To ever see her smile, or laugh, or talk about her beloved psychology, or tease him, or help him out, or tutor him, or wrinkle her nose that certain way when she found something amusing, or….a thousand other things that made his sister.

She wasn't a ghost. He knew that much, was certain she had no unfinished business. She was happy, healthy until her death, had experienced life and loved it. What regret could she have?

Another impossibility. He'd never be able to know. It was impossible to know if she had any regrets.

The world around him was chaotic. People were talking in hushed whispers as he stood, tall and proud…._she would have been proud of me_…ignoring their inane words.

She was the hero, though, she was the person to measure up to. Jazz Fenton, the brain, the beauty, the fun, she had it all. Or she had it all. She was a hero no more.

They'd know her story, he made sure of it. He turned at her coffin and told them exactly what happened to her, why it happened, how it was all his fault for ever letting his curiosity get the better of him, and how he released the horrors of ghosts upon the town.

Sam stood after he was done, ushered him out when he lost it and started to cry, bore the brunt of his pain, it seemed, as he slammed his fists into the wall behind her and collapsed into her, for the third time in as many days. She was one of the few things he still cared about.

The town was in an uproar for days afterwards, would be in an uproar for so many more. The people at school avoided him, were afraid of him. People on the street would pull away from him, as though they were burnt.

He didn't care, though he still protected them.

His mother and father eventually pulled themselves together enough after the burial to talk with him. It wasn't his fault, they had tried to soothe him, he couldn't have known. They didn't hate him, they wouldn't hunt him, they'd never hurt him. The words he'd been waiting and waiting to hear.

He didn't care, though he still loved them.

The ghosts still came, mercilessly. One was even stupid enough to show his face on the day of Jazz's funeral. He didn't know if there was another afterlife for ghosts to go to when they were no more….but that ghost certainly wasn't ever coming back again.

And Danny didn't care. It was impossible to care about that anymore, but he would still fight. He would do everything in his power to do what was right, what was good, not because he was supposed to, but because of Jazz. He would do it for her.

For the first time in his life, Danny was surrounded by impossibilities, and they hurt all the worse because she hadn't believed in them.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_"Whoever said 'nothing is impossible' never tried slamming a revolving door."  
_**--Found it surfing the net**


	5. My Ears Are Ringing

_**My Ears Are Ringing  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Heh…yeah, I swore to myself I wouldn't write one about the FWD episode and especially about the ring…(hangs head in shame)…but I succumbed to some inner-need and wrote it anyways….(sighs).  
Not sure if you can get the relation between the quote and what happens, but yeah…my mind is weird sometimes, so don't worry about it. Not really too sure where the stupid thing came from….lol.  
It's not here for your enjoyment, however weird that may sound, it's here because I had to get this out of my head. Stupid mutated plot bunnies of doom….(grumbles)…I blame it on lack of sleep, freezing temperatures, no good food, no heaters, drizzle, a horse going down and more than likely going to die before next weekend, and the fact that I was in a car for half of today...however much I love Winter Horse Camp, it's a killer...

**Genre**: Uh…introspective? Er…I'm not really sure…can't think straight right now...  
**Rating**: Heck, it's K for Kiddies…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

**Sam had to think it out….every single night, lest she go insane.**

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_It's just a ring._

_A dinky, old, probably from the 1950's, cliché, class ring. With a name engraved on it. That I have the misfortune to currently be holding. And be currently staring at. And playing with. And trying on. And contemplating. And…_

_Just a ring…._

_Yeah, right._

_This is so sad. I can't even convince myself that this is 'just a ring' or some stupid, done too many times idea. It's been a whole month, shouldn't I be more…over it by now? I can't believe how many times I've looked at, played with, read this stupid thing!_

_Engraved to 'Wes.'_

_Yeah, right….I have to roll my eyes at that one. It's required I do so for my sanity…_

_He doesn't notice me, he doesn't think about me that way, and just when I think there might possibly be the tiniest chance of something starting between us, he has to go and like another girl. Not just any other girl, but the girl who often is trying to skin him alive. Who blames him for all her problems, misfortunes, and the continuing presence of all the other ghosts of the area._

…_Alright, so she got the last one right, it **is **kinda' his fault…though to be fair it's just as much for telling him to go into the portal in the first place. His fault that he pushed the 'on' button though, so if he wants all the blame and responsibility, far be it from me to take it away from him._

_I'm not stupid…as soon as Danny handed me the ring back that second time…_

_Just a ring…._

_I can't believe I have to keep reminding myself that. I have to keep telling myself that he didn't look, he couldn't possibly have noticed, he wouldn't have tried to give it to **Valerie **if it had **my name **engraved on it. All this so I don't try to do someone in. Namely the resident halfa…_

'_Wes?' Yeah right, more like 'Sam.'_

_He may be clueless, but he couldn't possibly have been that clueless could he? I mean surely he wouldn't have tried to give one girl a ring with the name of another girl, who just happens to be his best friend, engraved on the inside of it…._

_Gah, this is getting me no where and I really need to take this stupid, idiotic, distracting, hateful, hurtful, thrice cursed ring and lock it up until he wants it back. I keep thinking in circles and there isn't a single person that I can talk to about this…._

_Except Danny, and that would be like shooting myself in the foot._

_Then again, **not **talking is like repeatedly hitting myself over the head._

_Great, just freakin' great. I've gotten myself stuck._

_He did not, could not have, known, I'm sure. Or at least I think I'm sure of that, but now I don't know. Did he know it said, 'Sam?'_

_He had to. He's not mean. I need to suck it up, put the ring down, and stop worrying over it. I'll call Danny and tell him so that…so that what, he won't make the same mistake?_

_God, I hate being such a good person, who has a bad crush on her friend. I need help. I wonder if Jazz would be up for a little practice at midnight, provided I can figure out a way to talk to her anonymously. Or maybe I can make myself wait until tomorrow to talk to someone…_

_But that brings me back to the problem of who to talk to…Gah! I'll never get anywhere with this…_

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

**It never really helped though, and often she felt even less mentally stable afterwards…**

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_"Suicide Hotline...please hold."  
_**--Unknown**


	6. Say What You Will

**_Say What You Will_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Heh, I had a request from a reader to do this quote matched with this character. I think it fits very well, and I thank my reviewer for suggesting it. If anyone else has a quote they would like me to use, send it my way, and I'll see what my strange mind comes up with for ya'!  
Hey, this let me practice portraying Vlad a bit more before I have to bring him fully into LITC. Tell me what you think and if I can improve him. Much appreciation and love!

**Genre**: Um…general I suppose. I guess you could call it slight character analysis.  
**Rating**: K for the kiddies, there's nothing too bad in here!

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'Oh little badger,' Vlad Masters sat in his favorite chair in the room, thinking back over his latest mistake, 'What have I done incorrectly? There is a way to make you react the way I wish you to, but you always seem to have something up your sleeve.'

"You were quite resourceful, young Daniel," he murmured out loud to himself, "quite resourceful indeed…"

Trailing off the man stood, straightening his white suit and placing the chair back in it's place at a ninety degree angle to the wall, making sure every detail was perfect. He was, after all, a man of perfection. He would not be down for long, for Vladimir Masters always found a way to triumph.

"Time's up," the door opened, but the guard found him already waiting for him, "Mr. Masters, your time is done in the meditating room."

"You are three seconds late," the older man informed his guard with a disdainful sniff, "Your punctuality is less than pleasing and I will be having a word with your overseer. Now if you will excuse me, I think it's time for me to check myself out again."

Signing the papers, gathering his limited items, receiving his normal, tailored suit and dress shoes, it had all become second hand by now. The mental institution that he often checked himself into for two week periods knew the routine as well. He'd been doing this for almost two years now, they were bound to have noticed exactly how he tended to opperate.

"Thank you Mister Masters, is there anything else we can do for you?" and at the shake of his head, the secretary continued, "Then I hope that you are feeling much better, and at the risk of sounding rude, that we won't have to be seeing you again any time soon."

Nodding at her polite smile and cheery disposition, Vlad turned slightly, his head looking back over his right shoulder in her direction, "No, Ms. Kaley, I do so hope that I won't be seeing you again anytime soon, though I've enjoyed our conversations. Truthfully, I think that this is the last time you'll have to worry over me. I've had a rather brilliant idea, or rather one of the patients assigned to the same ward as I had a brilliant idea. Ta-ta, dear, and do take care of yourself."

Grinning in malicious glee as he watched her face fall, he walked away not even stepping aside for the elderly couple visiting their niece. He walked right through them, though he politely nodded his head.

He was a man with a mission after all. Certain things could be excused. Halfa's who wouldn't join him were a rather pressing issue and the latest idea of Richard Drew, the paranoid schizophrenic from across the hall, definitely had merit, lacking in refinement as it was.

Say what you will about Vlad Masters, but he was ingenious and cunning to a fault. Sometimes the most mentally instable of people came up with the very best of ideas in their tortured nightmares…the kind of ideas that could very well drive a fourteen year old insane and lead to his downfall…

'Oh yes,' Vlad thought to himself as he arrived home, eyes beginning to darken and glow, 'Insanity is nothing to fear, rather it is a useful tool that I quite enjoy wielding. And inspiring in others at times…'

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."_  
**--Anonymous Bumper Sticker **


	7. Diversions

**_Diversions_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Heh, yeah this is just plain insanity…please forgive the crappiness of it…don't really know what else to say, except the fact that this is one of my all time favorite quotes. Enjoy!

**Genre**: Humor/Romance**  
Rating**: T for teens, you sillies…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Man, I don't want to have to do this stupid homework," Danny sighed as he sat himself in the rapidly filling library, "It's bad enough that this is going to count for a test grade, but did the paper _have_ to be over Shakespeare? I mean, would it have killed the man to have assigned us someone easier to understand?"

"You and Shakespeare, Danny," Sam shook her head as she piled the books on the table in front of him, "What do you have against the guy…wait, you didn't meet him in the ghost zone ever did you?"

At Sam's searching look, Danny decided to play cute, "Yeah I did, he tried to stuff me in a dress and make me recite lines for one of his plays, and when I wouldn't do it he tried to roast me with his flamethrower."

"Oh, ha ha," Sam rolled her eyes, "Leave the sarcasm to me, you concentrate on understanding the importance of Shakespeare and his works. Let's start with something even you know about, _Romeo and Juliet_."

"Okay," Danny smiled and took a deep breath, "Dude and chick fall in love at a party, but their families hate each other. Dude comes up with wicked good plan to seduce chick, they get married secretly by a priest, then get separated. Chick fakes her death to bring the families together, dude thinks she's really dead, he kills himself. Chick wakes up, sees dead hubby, kills herself. Everyone is all sad, the families make nice, the end."

"Congratulations, Danny," Sam shook her head and sighed, "You managed to reduce one of the greatest literary woks of all times into what, five sentences? All without ever mentioning names and dubbing one of the most romantic couples ever written as 'Dude' and 'Chick'."

"Hey, what can I say, I'm a natural," the halfa winked at his friend, "I happen to be a natural at lots of things."

"Ack, loser love in the Shakespeare section," a snotty looking girl walked by, throwing a glare Sam's way, "Everyone steer clear, the nerds are loose for the night."

At that remark Sam looked ready to roast someone with her glare alone, no flamethrowers needed. It had been getting worse and worse since they had been assigned to work on the Shakespeare paper together and that particular comment seemed to be the last straw.

"You know what?" Sam stood up, causing the girl who had spoken and half the library to go silent, "So what, Shakespeare is one of the sexiest writers of his day and can we really help it if we get into a teasing or flirting mood? No. And you know what, I can prove it."

Sam slammed open a book, much to the horror of the on looking librarian who was halfway wanting to shush the Gothic girl and halfway curious as to what she was going to do.

"You," she said sternly to Danny, "Read this. You don't have to do anything except sit there and read. Got it?"

Danny found his head bobbling up and down, quite without his brain's permission, but knowing Sam it was probably safest to just play along anyways, 'I really hope she doesn't get us kicked out of the library…I need a good grade…'

"Read his part," came the command, a finger pointing to a starting point on the page, "after I read hers."

"Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee, take all myself," Sam entreated with a sweet voice, sounding almost like she was begging Danny for something.

"I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized," Danny swallowed, realizing he was playing the balcony scene with Sam right in the middle of the library just to help her prove her point. 'Oh well,' his brain said before he continued, "Henceforth I never will be Romeo."

"What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night, so stumblest on my counsel?" Sam said in slight shock, then grinned at Danny with a cocky wink.

"By a name," Danny started, relaxing a bit and realizing he was just goofing off with his best friend, "I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee; Had I it written, I would tear the word."

"See?" Sam turned to question their small audience, "Juliet is just talking out loud about how she wishes that Romeo would forget his name so they could be together. That's when…"

But she was surprisingly cut off by Danny, who was re-reading over his 'part' in their mini-play, finally gaining some understanding, "That's when Romeo lets her know he heard her. He kinda' ends up teasing her and tells her that if she would call him her love, then he'd never be Romeo again. It's funny 'cause she doesn't even know it really is Romeo talking, it could have been Joe Shmoe for all she knew."

"Yep," Sam nodded happily, glad that some of the lesson had finally sunk into the boy's head, "So then she asks who said that…"

"…and Romeo tells her that it's someone who's name she hates, so he won't even speak it," Danny's face lit with understanding, "Hey Sam, this is great, I understand it! Can we do the rest of it this way?"

Sam's face was enough to tell Danny that he had said something that was perhaps a little embarrassing, and thinking back over his wording and thinking about what play they were working on only served to further his understanding of what he had just asked.

The quite laughter of a few teachers who were present and the bug-eyed stares of the students around probably helped drill it home as well, but Danny was more focused on Sam.

Who was currently laughing her head off.

"See?" she turned with raised eyebrow and smirk plastered on her face, desperately trying to control her laughter, "You can't help but get in the 'mood' with Shakespeare."

"Aw man," Danny dropped his head with a 'thunk' onto the table in front of him, "I didn't mean it that way!"

"Of course you didn't," Sam patted the back of his head as a few of the more stuck up students cleared the library, much to Sam's amusement, "It's the curse of Shakespeare, Danny, you can't help but get into certain parts of it, especially when you understand what's going on."

"You're a user Sam, you used me to make your point," he glared from the side of his eyes at her, being as he didn't feel like sitting up and letting whoever was left in the library see his blush, "You're a terrible person and an abusive friend."

"Oh come on, you were enjoying it," Sam sat beside him, "there's nothing wrong with that. It was just a little harmless flirting between friends. Shakespeare knew how to word things, making his characters flirt and tease with one another to add to the story. The world would be boring if no one flirted."

"Really?" Danny peered over the side of his arms to question his best friend.

"Well, technically, Shakespeare used banter and flirting as a form of foreplay between his characters, but we don't need to go there," Sam's cheeks pinked as she began to flip to a new page in her notebook.

Danny's gaze slid back to the book he had read from, seeing the perfect opportunity to tease Sam a bit as she was now the one flustered, "O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

"What?" Sam turned her head slightly to gaze at Danny, "What do you mean leave you unsatisfied?"

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine."

"Danny what are you talking about?" Sam turned to him fully giving him a helpless look, ears beginning to match the rest of her face in color, "Are you going crazy or did Ember sneak up while I wasn't looking and blast you again?"

"Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?" but Danny couldn't keep his face straight anymore and began laughing only to be hit upside the head by Sam, who quickly gathered up her things.

"Oh shut it Danny," Sam said with a hint of a smile floating around her face, "You can't read Shakespeare to save your life, but I can…My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."

And with that parting line and a sweet kiss to the side of his mouth, Sam was up and out the door, Danny left to pondering what the hell had just happened as a violent blush swept across his features.

"What the hell just happened?" he ended up pondering out loud, prompting one of the teachers to answer, "She proved her point, that's what happened Mr. Fenton," as they all tried to keep their laughter in.

"Dear Lord, she's such a user!" Danny smiled dreamily before he frowned and his forehead met the table again, "And I still haven't finished my half of the stupid paper….argh, crazy girls!"

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"_Banter is foreplay, and Shakespeare knew it!"  
--_**Anonymous**


	8. Wired

**_Wired_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note: _Not really sure what inspired this other than the fact that I have D. Pepper on my desk to help me write…I am so dang tired, and I have not a clue why….(whimpers)  
Maybe this stems from that one time I got addicted to Full Throttle…caffeine addictions are actually a legitimate addiction, as weird as that may sound…  
And yes, three days' lack of sleep and being this pumped up on caffeine would have a person acting like Danny is, only they wouldn't have ghost powers obviously…I've been there, I know…(shudders)

Don't own Spiderman, Full Throttle (tastes awesome though), Dr. Pepper, or Pepsi.

**Genre**: Humor/Romance/Just plain silliness  
**Rating**: T for teen you guys…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Oh dear God," Sam whispered in horror as she watched Danny down his fifth double shot espresso…her horror also including the fact that the boy had previously had a Full-Throttle energy drink and half a cup of her own soda, "Danny I think you've had enough caffeine for one day…"

"Gotta' finish this report," the boy droned with wide eyes, "Due tomorrow…wait, today? Wait, what time is it?"

"It's lunch time Danny, you came _back_ to the computer lab to 'fix up my paper and print it out' not to 'finish the last page and a half of the paper, edit it, and then print it out.' Why didn't you say something to me or Tucker?" Sam asked him, face set in disbelief at the lengths the halfa was pushing himself to.

"Didn't think," Danny answered quickly, a full out caffeine high obviously effecting him, "Just there was fighting and bam, and then that thing happened, and the report seemed like a long way off, then that thing with Plasmius, then my parents, then Jazz finding that new boyfriend who likes to talk to me _all _the time, and…"

"Danny!" Sam glared at the boy, who had been typing the entire time he was talking, "Knock it off and take a breath already. Can I help with that so you can take a break at least?"

"Done!" Danny's eyes lit up at the thought as he pushed the 'print' button and watched carefully as his paper appeared, seemingly mesmerized by it, "That's really cool…it just knows how to print it, how weird is that? I mean, do you realize how much thought people have put into machines to make them intelligent enough…wait, I don't really like intelligent machines…reminds me of Technus…"

Sam rolled her eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and sent a prayer heavenwards for patience, 'I can't kill him. For one he's the protector of Amity Park, and for two, I kinda' like the idiot and would more than likely miss him…'

"Hey Sam," came Danny's voice, but she couldn't find the boy anywhere, "Ever think you'd know someone who could walk on the ceiling?"

He burst out laughing as Sam nearly gave herself whiplash jerking her head up to find him standing upside down on the ceiling, 'Oh crap! I have got to get him down, he isn't being very rational…damn the caffeine!'

"Danny," she put on her sweetest voice and mustered up the best smile she could to lure him, "Would you come down for a moment, I have a question for you?"

"Sure Sammy," Danny winked at her as he dropped to 'stand' a foot off the ground at her side, "What can I do ya' for?"

'Gah, not the lame lines,' Sam felt like smacking herself over the head with the nearest keyboard she could get her fingers on, "Danny, how much coffee and, or sodas or other caffeinated drinks have you had lately?"

"Uh…" he sunk to the ground, eyes glazing over slightly as he thought over her question, "Five double shot espressos, the Full Throttle, and half your soda, three Dr. Peppers, a Pepsi, and two cups of black coffee over the past two days. Why do you ask?"

Sam leaned her head back, shut her eyes, and tried to resist the urge to kick him in the shins, 'I wonder if a person can get 'caffeine poison' like they can get 'alcohol poisoning'? Maybe I should have his stomach pumped…'

"Sam?" Tucker walked into the computer lab, "Where've you two been? Lunch is almost over and you never came…why is Danny playing with his arm in the wall that way?"

Turning, Sam found Danny phasing himself in and out of objects, basically just goofing off and seeing what looked the weirdest. Sticking his arm through the wall up to his elbow, and making sure the rest of his arm and body was visible he sent them a silly grin, "How much do you think this would freak out the next person who walked in here? Seriously, you guys, this has some prank potential…"

"What's going on?" Tucker looked at Sam with concern, "He get overshadowed by something weird or something possess him or what?"

"Yeah," Sam ground her teeth, "He got a double whammy and was possessed by the Ghost of Procrastination and the Caffeine Ghost."

"You mean he's hyper?" Tucker peered over Sam's shoulder at the boy who was chuckling to himself at his cleverness for imitating Spiderman, "On coffee or soda?"

"Both, plus a Full Throttle, and a couple of espressos…well, five espressos so I don't think that falls under the category of 'a couple' anymore," Sam walked over to where Danny was perched on the wall, "Come on Spidey, let's get you out of here before you freak anyone out. Tucker, can you turn in Danny's paper for English, and mine too?"

"Yeah, no problem," Tucker smiled as she handed him both reports, "Good luck with him."

"Thanks," Sam smiled as she started to drag Danny away, "I think I'm going to need all the luck I can get."

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Heh, Sam lookit this," Danny turned to the girl beside him sitting on his bed, trying to keep him quiet in case someone was home, "I can make my fingers look see-through…I could flick someone off and they'd never know."

"That's nice Danny," Sam replied for the tenth time, gritting her teeth in frustration, "Do you want some water or something?"

"That Full Throttle was pretty good," the halfa's eyes lit up hopefully, "Can I.."

"No," Sam said firmly, then moaned to herself and held her head in her hands, "You are in so much trouble when you're sane again…"

"Hey," Danny glared at her, "I resent that. I work my butt off to keep this town safe, hang out with my friends, act like a normal teenager, and get my school work done. So what if I had some coffee and stuff, I haven't slept in like three days!"

"Three days?" Sam turned worried eyes to Danny, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I had to get that stupid report done, Sam," Danny seemed to finally be winding down and frowned at the girl beside him, "Between that and the ghosts I didn't have much down time exactly."

"Why didn't you tell us you moron?" Sam smacked him gently on the top of his head, "Tucker would have helped you out and you _know_ I would have."

"Didn't want to bother Tucker," Danny shrugged, "He was having a hard enough time in that class as it was…"

"What about me?" Sam asked, slightly indignant that he hadn't.

"You're too good to me already," Danny said with a yawn, "I don't tell you enough, but thank you for everything…you're always saving my butt…"

"Hm, hardly," Sam smiled at the tired look, glad he was winding down finally, "It's you that always saves all of us."

"Nnuh," Danny slumped against her and shook his head, "You're too good for me Sam…do too much already, always have…"

"What else would I do?" she glanced down at the boy who was snuggling into her, thinking that she could forgive him the trespass this one time, "You're my best friend."

"Mine too," he mumbled back sleepily, "…love you, Sam…"

Sam sat in slight shock, not believing what she had heard, but answering back none the less, "Love you, too."

Tucker made his presence known a few minutes later by edging open the door as if expecting an explosion, "I'm here. How're things going in here?"

Grinning at their position and Sam's slightly shell-shocked look, Tucker quirked an eyebrow, "Obviously things are going better here than I thought."

"Shut up, Tuck," Sam glared at the boy, "He just fell over and fell asleep. It kinda' surprised me."

"Uh-huh," Tucker smiled, "Must be nice having your crush fall asleep in your lap…"

"Shut up, did you turn our papers in?"

"Yep."

"Think we should tell him that today was the day to turn it in for extra credit?"

"Nope."

"Me either," and Sam smiled down at the boy in her lap, who was finally getting the rest he so needed, "Huh, poor guy…I guess lack of sleep and over abundance of coffee makes you do some pretty dumb things."

"Not dumb," Danny grumbled against her, wrapping his arms around her waist, "an you're in big trouble fer not tellin' me 'bout report…go 'way Tuck…"

Laughing at Danny's boldness and Sam's dazed expression, Tucker did as he was bid, "Later lovebirds! Catch ya' on the flip side!"

"Danny, you have no clue what you're saying…you're delusional or something."

"Sam?"

"What?"

"Sh…I have a headache."

"Oh, I'll give you a head ache alright!"

"…love you," he teased gently to stop her rant, giving her a slight squeeze to emphasize his meaning, "G'night."

"Uh…night," Sam's face melted and turned slightly pink as she petted the boy's soft hair, 'But you have sooo much explaining to do when you wake up Daniel James Fenton…and you owe me something, you big weirdo! You can't confess your feelings for your best friend on a coffee binge and get away with it…'

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"_Coffee --- do stupid things faster and with more energy!" _  
**--Bumper Sticker**


	9. French Fried

**_French Fried_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: I'm just gonna' sit here and laugh at my own insanity while you guys enjoy this…so have fun! And thanks for over a thousand hits!

**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: K for kids like me…only not twenty and the like…oh dear, I've just confused myself…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Are you done yet?" a slightly frazzled, definitely burnt, and covered in ketchup halfa asked his captor, "because I would really prefer it if you were so we could get back to fighting…"

A slight shake of the head was all the young man got as the woman continued to painstakingly clean off his form. Every bit of him was covered in spit already as it was. He just knew he would remember the stench for the rest of his life.

"It's degrading enough that you picked me up after you fried me and stuck me in the ketchup vat," Danny tried to push the massive tongue away from his face, "but must you _lick _me clean?"

Another slight nod of the head before the deep voice informed him, "You taste good slightly roasted with the ketchup, but I don't think I could bring myself to eat you," and the 'bathing' continued again.

"A little help here?" Danny glanced down at his two friends, neither of which were making a move to do so.

"You're on your own on this one Danny," Tucker smiled maliciously as he kept snapping photo after photo with his digital phone, "Man this is priceless…I can't wait to make a collage of all the stupid photos I have of you doing stuff…"

Sam just sat coolly on a bag of mix to be emptied into one of the huge vats of Mayonnaise, in which they had found the Princess Ghost washing her hair, "I think you're learning a valuable lesson right now, Danny. Never mess with a woman when she's primping."

"Primping?" Danny asked with wide eyes, again getting a bath in ghostly dragon slobber, "In Mayonnaise?"

"Good for the hair," both girls replied as Sam went back to enjoying the show in humored silence and the dragon continued her lollipop-like snack.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_"Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."  
_**--Bumper Sticker**


	10. Nuance

**_Nuance_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Get some tissue, I'm in a mood…Character death, though no names are mentioned, you can tell.

**Genre**: Angst/Tragedy. Don't read it if you don't want to, it's dark and gory.  
**Rating**: M for mature. No kids allowed on this one guys, you know your limits.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

When I screamed as a baby in my mother's arms, it was because I was hungry or uncomfortable or needed something. I had no words to tell the people around me what it was that I needed, but there was no doubt in their minds that I needed _something _and they would do anything to get it for me.

When I would scream as a child, it was over something inane, something I thought I had to have or that I didn't want someone to take from me. I would scream out of pure frustration that I wasn't getting my way or because I was too tired to try and find the words to talk it out.

When I screamed as an adolescent, it was because I was afraid of a movie or one of my friends jumped out behind me and scared me. It was a reaction out of fright. That, or I was fighting with someone, and the words grew in volume and shrank in meaning and size, letter-wise. I tried to never start a fight, but I'd be the first to try and finish it. Words were important, but not what caught people's attention. It was the volume.

From something under the water that I couldn't see to something that might possibly kill me that I could see quite plainly, the screams were the same. Identical. They were always noticed, not because of the words, but because of the sound behind the words. The power of my lungs.

But today is different. It wasn't how loudly I screamed, it was what I screamed and why. It was screaming his name over and over as I was helpless on the ground without a thing to help him with. It was the feeling behind my words and my eyes, I suppose, that led people to watch in avid horror as my worst nightmare was played out in bright colors in the day-lit world.

When the piece of flesh that usually covered his arm was taken off in one smooth motion, I screamed.

When the blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and his eyes locked with mine, I screamed.

When the fist of his opponent actually came through his stomach, breaking his backbone in the process, I screamed.

When the boy's body struggled to stay in the air, but dropped over a hundred feet to the concrete, I screamed.

When his enemy was more harsh than he had ever been, when he aimed for blood and destruction, I screamed.

When I held him in my arms, his fluids coating me in a sickly paint that will never wash clean, I screamed.

I screamed a thousand times over, until my throat was numb and raw, until I had no more tears to course down my face. He bled and bled and bled, and I screamed and screamed and screamed, but what help can be given to someone who was already dead? The blood came, but it wasn't supporting life anymore.

It was because of my screaming that he knew how I felt. No last whispered breaths of 'I love you,' no confessions of eternal adoration or anything like you see in a movie or read in a romance novel. It was fast. It was brutal. It was sickening.

And I screamed.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." _  
**-- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)**


	11. No Thanks

_**No Thanks  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Um, I have no clue how I got the ending I did from this quote….I guess I was just craving a little fluff in my diet…heh, yeah, I'm pathetic I know. Um…Happy Valentine's Day?

**Genre**: Um, is fluff a genre?  
**Rating**: T 'cause there's a cussword in the quote…oh no, hide if you're too young!

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

It was a particularly awful day in the world of one, Daniel James Fenton.

No, it was terrible, horrific, absolutely dreadful. Every time he turned around something went wrong. And right now, he could literally say that. And that was pretty dang sad. He had to have made some sort of record by now of having the absolute worst luck in the entire world, nay, entire universe.

Ghost fights, getting blown off by girls, his best friend too busy with the Tech. Club to hang out with him, the bullies all deciding that today was the perfect day to have their first annual 'stuff as many nerds into a locker as you can' day, and finally Mr. Lancer's report that was due today that he had completely forgotten about.

And that was only before lunch.

He was currently sitting next to a rather soggy and ready to explode Samantha, the 'soggy' part being rather odd because it was a beautiful spring day outside. It was because that whole 'something went wrong every time he turned around thing' came into play not five seconds ago.

Sam currently had a tray full of sloppy Joe and red fruit punch all up and down her front. The punch was particularly strong that day, and as such, was currently staining her pale skin an interesting pink color. This was all courtesy of Danny klutzing out and tripping on his backpack which was sticking out in the walkway between the tables.

No, today was not a good day at all.

And the thing that made it all the worse was that Sam just took a deep breath, calmed herself down in two seconds flat and started to apologize to him for knocking his backpack out of his chair in the first place and ruining his lunch. Not freaking out on him because he ruined her shirt or was causing her skin to be stained a pink color. Not launching into a mad fit because she was currently covered in meat. Nope, she was apologizing.

"Sam, stop it," Danny cut her off, "Don't apologize, it was my fault anyways."

Danny hung his head and hid his face in his hands. He couldn't believe his luck. Here he was having a terrible day, and Sam had been trying to make him feel better by chatting with him at lunch and he ruined it.

"I've got this whole, bad day groove down now, so don't ruin it," he shook his head as he looked up at his best friend whom he currently had a crush on, "No trying to cheer me up, I should be trying to make you feel better."

With a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, Sam leaned over and caught him in a huge hug, effectively ruining his mainly white t-shirt with sloppy Joe and punch, "There, sourpuss, if you don't want to be cheered up, we can at least match."

The hug…the hug was probably worth all the crap he had been putting up with, but he suddenly remembered why he didn't always like having his friends around him on bad days…they just kept trying to cheer him up…and usually added to it all.

"No really," Danny rolled his eyes as Sam kept her hold on him, "Please don't try to help me out. Really. I think I'm feeling better already. Seriously."

"You wish," Sam reached for the top bun of his ruined sandwich and smashed it on his head, "There, now you've got a hat."

"Unfair Sam," Danny tried to glare, but a smile kept trying to pop up on his face as he reached up and took his 'hat' off, "Totally unfair."

"My tactics are working," Sam leaned back slightly and grinned, "Now, to get cleaned up and finish ruining the rest of your already ruined day."

"I seriously doubt you could do that," Danny sank back into his funk.

As he turned his head, lips met lips and suddenly, Sam was up and moving towards the cafeteria door, "Alright, I'll stop trying if you really want me to…"

"Uh," Danny stood up and watched her walk, as several people around them began to laugh at the scene they had witnessed, "No thanks…you can keep trying if you want to!"

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"_Ah shit, you're gonna' try to cheer me up, aren't you?"  
_**--Sticker**


	12. Been There, Done That

_**Been There, Done That  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Yeah…I'm in a really weird mood obviously. Hope you enjoy it! Hm…you may call the mysterious in between people…the Powers that Be. Muwahahaha….

**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: K for kids!

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_**Somewhere in the universe, a group gathered around a large screen television and a button was hit, setting the characters in motion…**_

_**Play.**_

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Danny!" Sam called out as the boy turned at her cry, "No, you idiot! Behind you!"

Danny, however was nowhere near fast enough. One blast of artificial wind from the giant poultry's wings and he was thrown into the nearby vat of syrup, completely immersed in the sticky substance.

Just as Danny made his way out of the container, the giant ghost chicken was on him, pecking and scratching and sending feathers everywhere. The scuffle, fortunately, was brief and Danny emerged the victor, though at a price.

The poor halfa looked like he was tarred and feathered, covered from head to toe in sticky liquid and glowing bird plumage. He slipped in a pool of the syrup and could only curse his own bad luck, 'Why did it have to be giant chickens…'

"Is it gone yet?" the teen asked blearily to his friend who was standing nearby.

"Yeah," Sam nodded as she pulled her halfa to his feet, "You got it…now let's get you cleaned up."

"Thanks Sam," Danny tried his hardest to not drip on her, "You're the best."

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_**Pause.**_

"_**Okay! More humor, it needs more humor!"**_

"_**Well, we can do that. Watch this!"**_

_**Stop. Rewind and wait. Stop. Editing in process. Editing complete. Play.**_

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Danny!" Sam called out as the boy turned at her cry, "No, you idiot! Behind you!"

Danny, however was nowhere near fast enough. One blast of artificial wind from the giant poultry's wings and he was thrown into the nearby vat of syrup, completely immersed in the sticky substance.

Just as Danny made his way out of the container, the giant ghost chicken was on him, pecking and scratching and sending feathers everywhere. The scuffle, fortunately, was brief and Danny emerged the victor, though at a price.

The poor halfa looked like he was tarred and feathered, covered from head to toe in sticky liquid and glowing bird plumage.

Just then another glowing bird slammed into the unfortunate Sam, sending her straight into Danny, causing them both to tumble back into the giant vat. The second bird set upon them, and as Sam waded in the pot of syrup, Danny fought.

"Is it gone yet?" Sam demanded as her halfa helped her out of the vat, only to slip in a pool of the syrup and start cursing his own bad luck, 'Why did it have to be giant chickens…'.

"Yeah," Danny nodded as he regained his footing and moved to assist Sam, "I got it…now let's get you cleaned up."

"Thanks Danny," Sam tried her hardest to hide her blush, "You're the best."

"You know," Danny gave her a confused look, "I kinda' feel like we've done this before…"

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_**Pause.**_

"_**Wait, I got it…this is even better! You guys are gonna' love this!"**_

_**Stop. Rewind and wait. Stop. Editing in process. Editing complete.**_

"_**Hey! Quit hoggin' the popcorn!"**_

"_**Shut up, it's starting again!"**_

_**Play.**_

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Danny!" Sam called out as the boy turned at her cry, "No, you idiot! Behind you!"

Danny, however was nowhere near fast enough. One blast of artificial wind from the giant poultry's wings and he was thrown into the nearby vat of syrup, completely immersed in the sticky substance.

Just as Danny made his way out of the container, the giant ghost chicken was on him, pecking and scratching and sending feathers everywhere. The scuffle, fortunately, was brief and Danny emerged the victor, though at a price.

The poor halfa looked like he was tarred and feathered, covered from head to toe in sticky liquid and glowing bird plumage.

Just then another glowing bird slammed into the unfortunate Sam, sending her straight into Danny, causing them both to tumble back into the giant vat. The second bird set upon them, and as Sam waded in the pot of syrup, Danny fought.

As Danny took care of the second bird, he paused to catch his breath and began to help Sam out of the syrup, only to find a third chicken attacking him from the air. Poor Sam was dropped back into the vat, the sticky liquid clinging to her clothes and hair, and completely saturating her backpack that she had been wearing, 'There goes the homework…and books…and cell phone…'

As Sam continued to tally up her losses, Danny and the chicken fought their way into the vat, sending feathers everywhere. Danny pummeled the third chicken and caught it in the thermos with its two brothers…or were they sisters? In any case the poor boy landed on his back, floating on the surface of the syrup.

"Is it gone yet?" Danny asked tiredly, trying his hardest to remain awake long enough to curse his own bad luck, 'Why did it have to be giant chickens…'.

"Yeah," Sam nodded as she moved to assist her best friend, and held on as he pulled them both out of the vat, "You got it…now let's get you cleaned up."

"Thanks Sam," Danny said tiredly, leaning into her and not caring if she and he were both drenched in syrup and covered in feathers, "You're the best."

"Thanks…but, you know," Sam gave her halfa a confused look, "I kinda' feel like we've done this before…"

"Yeah," Danny stopped walking and looked at the girl beside him, "I was just gonna' say that. It's kinda' like déjà vu, only worse…"

As the pair looked around them wearily, Danny and Sam swore they could hear laughter from somewhere far off…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_**Pause.**_

_**Somewhere far away on the edges of the universe, a figure was laughing his butt off with all of his closest friends, who were situated around a large screen television, enjoying food and the latest show.**_

_**Stop.**_

_**They laughed and joked and called out more and more suggestions, all trying to outdo the last outlandish suggestion. No one was quite sure when this game had begun, but no one really cared.**_

_**Rewind.**_

_**They always had the best parties when they got together and figured out new ways to mess with the ghost kid…**_

_**Play.**_

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"_Déjà vu -When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends."  
_**--From I don't remember where…**


	13. Aw, Too Bad

**_Aw, Too Bad…_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Yeah, **_abso-blinkin-lutely _**no idea where this came from, and I'm not even sure I really like it…but this is what I got from the quote, so this is what I'm posting. I am seriously such a freak and currently in need of some psychiactric help...seriously I think I'm havin' some sort of a freakin' mental breakdown...

**Genre**: Erm, uh…I honestly don't know. Parody, maybe? Does loosing one's mind count as a genre?  
**Rating**: M…there's a...ahem… few interesting mentionings in this.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

He was stylish.

He was good looking.

He was loaded.

He was the captain of both the football and basketball team. The star athlete. Then end all to popularity. The epitome of cool…whatever epitome meant…

As he looked in the mirror, he saw carefully maintained blonde locks of hair, a chiseled and handsome face, and beautiful baby blue eyes. A defined chin drew attention to his strong, corded neck, which led to his broad, manly shoulders. Continuing down led to defined pectoral muscles, a lovely six pack that most guys would die to have, and…well, then there was that too.

But he wasn't even going to spend time on that, because once he started he'd not be able to stop praising himself for a good half hour…okay, so it was more like a minute, but still…he was getting better damn it!

Everything about him was so…so…perfect, he couldn't help but be attracted to only the best. Only the perfect girl would do to accompany his perfect self.

He didn't need to be anything but himself and the girls would fall over him, faun over him, worship the ground he walked on.

So why the hell couldn't he get Samantha Manson's attention?

He didn't like her, didn't want her, didn't need her. He hated the way she dressed, hated the way she talked, hated the way she was intelligent. Nothing about her was attractive to him, other than the fact that he could not, for the life of him, get her to like him.

He'd tried all his moves, all his lines, all his normal tactics. When they hadn't worked, he'd asked his buddies about how they dealt with difficult women.

He tried romancing her, ignoring her, talking to her, learning about her, getting interested in what she liked (or at least pretending to be interested in what she liked), even asking her directly. He was thinking about trying to force her somehow, but how the hell did you force someone to like you?

Nothing in his magnificent head could come up with a plan as how to obtain the unobtainable, and it was beginning to drive him absolutely, stark-raving, mad. Not a feeling that Dash Baxter was accustomed to.

Then again, neither was rejection.

He'd brought her flowers, candies, jewelry, everything the average girl liked. Then someone mentioned that she wasn't exactly average so he bought her an acre of rainforest, saved a farm of bunnies about to be sent to the pharmaceutical companies, and had a rare black diamond delivered to her.

Hell yes, he was going all out. He was absolutely determined to get this damnable wench to come to him, even if it broke him!

He'd have her, use her, and then send her packing, much faster than he normally did because she was so…so…so damn smart! How the hell could she keep resisting his charms? He'd already had almost every other girl in Casper High, and as their senior year was drawing to a close, he was absolutely positive that he _would_ win this.

Or so he thought.

As he stood mumbling to himself about everything and how it _was_ going to work out a knock came at his front door.

That had to be her, it was five to seven, just like he had requested in the beautiful bouquet of flowers he had had sent with all her favorite flowers. It had taken a bit of work to figure out what her favorites were and he was quite shocked to learn that they were white Gerber daisies and forget-me-nots.

Everything was set.

His parents were out, a nice candle lit, vegetarian dinner was sitting out, the maid and butler were off for the evening, and he was looking pretty hot and fine in his polo shirt and black slacks. He could have kissed himself.

Opening the door he saw the girl he had been after for the better half of three months. He'd finally gotten past her defenses, made her think that he actually cared. The game was nearing it's close.

As soon as he moved to draw her in, a white gloved hand appeared from his right and pulled him around, making him face to face with an extremely pissed Danny Phantom, glowing green eyes and fists included.

"She's told you every single time," he advanced menacingly on the teenager, "the exact same damn thing. The answer is 'No'."

The last part was said with a growl as Dash found himself lifted by his shirt front, leaving him dangling in the air, a good foot off the ground, "She's sent your candies, your flowers, your jewels, and your oh so generous 'donations' back to you."

Dash had never been one to admit fear, but all he could think right then was how smart he was to have emptied his bladder not ten minutes ago. He'd have wet himself otherwise.

"She has said no, a thousand different ways and you've ignored her every single time," the ghost looked ready to rip into him, but somehow was restraining himself, "She never accepted anything you gave to her or sent to her or offered her. Never went out with you, never said she'd even consider going out with you."

"I have been wanting to rip you into tiny pieces, fry them in my hands, and then stuff them into the ghost zone and let all the other ghosts play with your parts for the past three months," the ghost definitely looked ready to murder him now, "but she wouldn't let me. She kept saying that maybe, just maybe you'd come to your senses. She isn't yours, you got that? If I ever see you near her again, or even hear of you coming anywhere near her, I will personally rip off a very, very sensitive piece of your body and force feed it to you."

Dash found himself nodding very quickly as he heard Sam's laughter coming from the doorway, and turned his head slightly to see her leaning against the door frame for support, Tucker Foley right behind her with a camera in his hands recording the entire traumatic event, "Do I make myself clear?"

He whipped his head back to the imminent threat, nodding frantically before stuttering out, "C-c-crystal!"

Getting dropped to the floor, he watched as Danny Phantom glowered down at him as though wishing to do some particularly vicious and nasty thing to him, "I know you're stupid little game and if I ever catch you playing it again, you _will _be sorry. Sam is my friend, and no one, ever, messes with what's mine. Get it?"

At another frantic nod, Dash scooted himself back, learning that one could wet one's self even when they thought their bladders empty. Too bad, really, those were his favorite pants and boxers.

"Okay, guard dog," Sam finally got herself under control from the doorway, "Down boy, I think he got the message."

"About damn time," the floating boy said with another glare before moving back to the doorway.

Tucker was just trying to contain his laughter enough to hold the camera steady. He finally managed to call out, "Toodles," before turning to leave with the two who were already out the door and down the sidewalk.

Edging his way to the door, Dash peeked his head out and listened as they walked away.

"A little overdramatic weren't you Danny? I thought you were just going to scare him into leaving me alone."

"Yeah, man, that was a little overkill…"

"Uh, actually, that's pretty much how I felt."

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay you two, that's enough of the mushy."

Dash just sat shaking his head, wondering why in the world Sam had called in the ghost boy. Was it some form of 'hard to get'? Was it a sign that he needed to try harder? What the hell else did she want from him?

'One day, Samantha Manson,' Dash started to clean himself and the house up before his parents arrived home and began asking questions, 'I'll figure out what it takes. I'll win this! I know you want me!"

Oh poor, confused, in denial, sad Dash. He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, or the sharpest tool in the shed, or even the bright bulb in the sign.

And you know, I heard that about a week later he had to change his name to Danielle…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_"And to think you're the end result of millions of years of evolution."  
_**--Bumper Sticker**


	14. As If

_**As If  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Realize that I haven't had to speak or write Spanish in a while and I'm working with a rather limited vocabulary, lol. Forgive and correct me if there are any mistakes, I had to resort to Babel Fish…O.o' I am so ashamed…the translations are very, very rough…

EDIT! The most wonderful, Nisha Athalwolf has helped me with the Spanish! Kudos and cookies to her for the wonderful, and greatly appreciated, help she gave!

**Genre**: Um…I dunno' maybe, uh, is 'mutant plot bunny that was threatening to eat my ears' a genre?  
**Rating**: Let's go with K!

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Paulina, for the very first time in her entire life stood alone.

_Esto es malo…_

Not in the literal sense of course, as she had been alone many times in her life, and quite a few of those times she had literally been standing for some reason or other at some point in time.

No, this time she stood alone in, well, whatever it was that she had gotten herself into. Her parents were talking to the principal and Sam Manson sat across from her glaring. It wasn't the best day in Paulina's opinion.

_Hoy es horrible…_

It had started simply enough as a joke, a harmless ploy, to put the lower ranking student of Casper High back into her place, which she of late seemed to be forgetting. Always sticking up for her little loser friend, Danny Fenton…who just so happened to be sitting next to her.

Paulina watched as he leaned over and nudge the girl, whispering something or other that made her laugh, then both the teens smiled and started talking about how cool it had been.

_Gente loca y fea…_

It was supposed to be just Sam who was covered in paint, but now all three of them were.

Paulina had set it up so that the stupid Goth was supposed to walk out of the building and get into some word war with her, and then at Paulina's signal, the other's would dump their pails on the girl, drenching her and ruining her horrific outfit.

Danny, however, just so happened to be walking with Sam as she came out the doors and engaged in her verbal battle. Normally the stupid boy would be so smitten with her that she'd have no problems, but apparently when it came to putting down his best friend right in front of him in such a mean way, well, he had a problem with that.

_¿Salió como quería¡No!_

As he frowned and took a step towards Paulina, the girl had darted back past him towards Sam and said the word 'idiot'. Poor thing, that had been her signal and she had completely forgotten. Not only was Sam covered in bright pink, white, and yellow, but Paulina was too.

As she listened to her parents go on and on about how their sweet little baby couldn't possibly have done something like this, she looked over on the pair that were chattering away about how cool it was to have been covered in paint and then throw themselves on the sidewalks before the teachers could drag them to the office.

There was now a 'Danny and Sam' print in pink, yellow, and white on the sidewalk and many of the kids who had passed through the office had commented on it. Danny and Sam just gave them thumbs up and laughed.

_¡Son unos estùpidos!_

And Paulina was alone. No one had taken the blame for her, or even with her, even thought there had been several 'A-List' students who had been her accomplices. They didn't do what Danny had done. Didn't look at the situation and stick around.

Oh no, not them. They left, ran off, ditched her. They told her they'd help her out if anything went wrong, bail her out if she got into any trouble…

_¡Mentirosos!_

Danny had took one look at the situation and grabbed Sam into a hug, smearing the paint all over himself so she wouldn't have to face whatever happened alone. They had taken the globs of paint, and like children, began to color each other's faces and hair and arms…their backpacks and clothes weren't any exception either.

_Sus ropas estaban arruinadas, pero ella se divirtió, al igual que Danny. ¿Por qué soy yo quien está aburrida y sola? Esto es tan aburrido..._

So there she was, sitting alone and waiting for the outcome of the meeting between her parents and the principal, while Danny and Sam enjoyed one another's company. It was just so wrong. If anyone had told her that she would be the one left in the dust and it would be Sam who had someone to help her out and support her, she would have laughed.

_¡Ha! Imposible…_

Oh how wrong she was. Paulina just hung her head and began to chip the paint off her shirt and arms and hair. With a sigh, she flipped her long hair back over her shoulder. It was supposed to be awesome, now it all just stunk.

She glanced over at the pair still talking and laughing about the incident. Like it didn't bother them at all so long as they had the other there with them…

_¿Como dices "as if" en español?_

Paulina rolled her eyes and was left alone in her thoughts. All alone.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_A friend will call you in jail. A good friend will visit you in jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you in jail saying, "That was awesome!"'  
_**--Internet saying**


	15. Fanatic

**_Fanatic_**  
By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: This one was a request from a reviewer…hope you enjoy what my brain came up with…not sure if this is what you wanted, but this is what happened. This is just what I thought of when I read what the review said about Paulina and then thought of all the stuff she has in her locker on the show, lol!

**Genre**: Parody/Humor maybe?  
**Rating**: Um…lets go with K+ because stalking is a serious subject…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

She wasn't obsessive, that was below her. She wasn't a fan girl, who would chase after him with desperation in her eyes, that was pathetic. She was his one true love and she would be there for him whenever he wanted.

She could admit that she could be a bit overly enthusiastic at times, but then again, who wouldn't be after being held against that firm chest, the chill of his ghostly presence sending you into shivers, his shock white hair and glowing green eyes demanding your attention?

She would never be able to force him to care for her, she wasn't that shallow to believe in something like that. Money wouldn't buy him, her body probably wouldn't truly win him over, though she was sure it would help, and for some reason, her singular devotion to him didn't seem to be enough either.

She wasn't a just some sort of devotee or groupie, though several times girls had giggled at her and said that when they thought she couldn't hear…or in the case of Sam Manson, when _everyone _could hear. She just would wait unwearyingly, taking pictures when she could, kissing his image, doodling him, writing his name, gazing at the things of him she had gathered over the various times he had saved her or seen her outside of a battle.

She hated the word, but it came up often enough to warrant examination. Was she fanatic? Maybe, but she would only confess that secretly in her heart of hearts, in the dead of night, while she fervently prayed that he would come to her.

One day, she was sure, one day he would notice how faithful she was, how loving and caring and wonderful and then the wait would be over. She'd just have to be patient until then…and ignore the sniggers that came out of Fenton's mouth whenever someone would say the words 'Phantom's stalker.'

She'd show them all…it was just a matter of time.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_'You can't make someone love you, you can only stalk them and hope for the best.'_  
**--Bumper Sticker **


	16. Stimulating

_**Stimulating**_

By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: God, I am weird and if you don't like it, I completely understand. You really have to read the quote for this one…sorry to whoever I stole this from!

**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Oh, I have had it!" Danny was just about to sink into a nice, relaxing, hot bath when his ghost sense had gone off for about the fifth time that day, making it a total of sixty-two times for the weeks, and three hundred and forty-eight times for the month.

Not that he was keeping count or anything.

Wrapping a towel around his waist in hurried frustration and racing out of the bathroom, Danny observed the empty hallway of his house, watching in slight shock as Sam and Tucker came thundering up the stairs and stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the nearly naked him.

They were supposed to be keeping things under control for him. They had volunteered to watch the portal and catch anything that came out as he took a few minutes to just relax and get that much deserved, not to mention needed, bath. Of course, fate always had other plans for him and whatever it was had apparently been a bit much for them to handle.

Seeing him naked apparently wasn't helping Sam at the moment either.

"Danny!" the Goth squeaked as she turned to look away, then seemed to remember something at the sight of the stairway, grabbed Tucker by the hand, and began her mad dash with the boy in tow all over again towards the back of the house, "Go ghost! Big eel!"

"Oooookay," Danny turned his head to watch the pair pass him, then turned back around to face the stairs just in time to see a rather nasty looking snake-type-thing peek over the top of the railing. Sighing, the halfa quickly changed and with a battle cry took to the air to take care of the problem.

The fight, while it lasted all of two minutes, was intense to say the least. Tucker and Sam had eventually snuck back down the stairs with thermoses from Danny's room in hand, and were both getting ready to pull the creature in when something the halfa did seemed to royally piss it off.

Never a good thing.

"Yerk!" Danny's shout didn't even make sense as the room glowed a bright yellow for a half a second. Sam recovered first and saw Danny laying stiff against the floor, his normally puffy, white hair now standing on end as he blinked in surprise.

"I guess it's an _electric _eel or something," she stated in her slight shock as Tucker quickly pulled it into the thermos and tightly screwed the lid on.

"Really?" came the out of breath reply from the halfa as he sat up, his muscles jerking every few seconds from the electric pulses still shooting through them, white hair looking frazzled and smoking slightly, "What tipped you off?"

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_Frankly, if you have never stuck your tongue in a light socket you may not understand.'_  
**--From Someone's Bio (sorry I can't remember who I filched this from…)**


	17. It's All In The Commas

_**It's All In The Commas  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: So I had someone beg me to do another one of these (Cough Galateagirl cough), and I suppose that I have been a bit neglectful of late…sorry to all of you who read my stuff. I also have to apologize to the people that I usually read and review for. I haven't been reading anything lately, and honestly, I won't be for a while.

I'm getting ready to take my finals, and then I'll be getting ready for camp…which means that I won't be reading all summer. I will, however, keep on writing, so no worries there. I'll also try to get back to your reviews and PMs as quickly as possible.  
This one's for Scout, and she asked for it a looooong time ago, lol. Hope it's up to standards for you sweetie. Enjoy!

**Genre**: It's one of those thinking fics…damn it I did it again! Introspective on two parts.  
**Rating**: T because I like the new peach tea at Sonic! Yummy!

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

It was one of those days, you know, the kind that just begs ya' to get outside and ride around, doin' whatever you feel like. The kinda' day that's perfect for doin' whatever you want.

Or at least it was until that little punk decided that I shouldn't be out anymore.

I mean, he ain't always that bad, but he sure as hell ain't always good. At least to me. I'm sure his little friends just adore him for taking care of all the ghosts and stuff.

Yeah. Whatever.

Anyways, like I was sayin', me and Kitty were out for a joy ride and the halfa kid comes along and ruins it all, like always. It's never really bothered me before and you know, it's kinda' like a routine, get out, fight, get thrown back in the ghost zone.

But man, this time…this time was different.

This time this chick in a weird red suit decides to interfere and she had some crazy guns and stuff. I mean, Danny's kinda' tough and packs a punch, but this ghost hunter…her stuff actually felt like it could tear me to pieces. She hit me and it was like fire, which is so weird 'cause I haven't felt pain like that since…well…and then…jeeze.

Man, she hit Kitty and I thought…I thought I was gonna' loose her. I don't think I've ever been scared like that since…we died. I thought I was gonna' have to live without her then. And I hated it. When Kitty got hit, I felt like there was nothing left.

I mean, sure if I had been alive, I could just kill myself. But since I'm dead…what would I do? If I didn't have Kitty, what would be the point of just hangin' around anymore? There wouldn't be one…there wouldn't be anything. I would have nothing.

So, I won't let it happen again. Nothin' is ever gonna' touch Kitty again, and I swear that if I ever see that hunter again, she's in for it…for making her hurt and for making me feel like this…feel fear. For making me realize the scariest damn thing in my world.

If I don't got Kitty by my side…I ain't nothing'…'cause there's nothin' left for me to be.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_Woman, without her, man is nothing.'_  
**--Anonymous, given to me by Scout.**


	18. To Know Irony

**_To Know Irony  
_**By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Another one of those quotes that is actually meant to be quite humorous that I have found a sick and twisted way to make it all my own. You are warned.  
Oh, and there's a bonus ending if anyone doesn't want to be left all sad. Instead you'll be left with questions (at least one) answered and a bit of a thoughtful feeling. That's always good right?

**Genre:** Horror/Angst/ and some really, seriously warped Humor.  
**Rating:** M

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Sam, at the moment, was detached from the situation.

She was in her own world, inside herself, and not willing to come out for anything but the boy with glowing green eyes who was desperately pleading with their best friend to stay awake.

Sam, at the moment, wasn't even aware that the sickly, constant flow of red now covered her entire lap. Her thighs were sure to be stained for days. She sat serenely as instinct took over and she gently began to run her fingers over the sweating brow of the teen she knew and loved as a brother.

She sat and was perfectly calm, but for her betraying eyes.

Her eyes said it all as tears streamed down her face when they lit on the box of pizza Jazz had unknowingly ordered seconds before they had burst through the ceiling.

Danny had phased them in, then gently lay Tucker in Sam's arms as she kept pressure on the wound. The blood just wouldn't stop, and not even Danny's fast reactions were going to be enough to get the boy through this.

Jazz had just hung up when they came, and Danny snatched the phone out of her stilled fingers, a single, horrified gurgle of a sound coming from behind her lips. He dialed the emergency number and waited…an ambulance was on it's way and then he hung up, the more important business of taking care of his friend overriding the operator's demand that he stay on.

They worked so hard, Sam holding him and trying to staunch the flow of blood, Danny trying desperately to keep him awake until the ambulance arrived, Jazz running for the first aide kit.

The doorbell made them all jump. No one expected the pizza to arrive first…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'I love America. It's the only place in the world  
where a pizza can get to your house faster than an  
ambulance.'  
**--A Joke Page Online **

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

**(And since I'm not mean enough to leave you wondering, here's the sequel…if you don't want one, don't read this…easy cheesy!)**

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Stop fussing Sam," Tucker irritably batted the girl's hand away from his hair, desperately wishing he could get his hat back from her, "And stop petting my hair, you never did it before."

"Yeah well," Sam huffed, folding her arms, "_before_ you didn't have a giant hole in your body that wasn't naturally there. _Before_ you didn't almost die…"

"And before," Danny walked into the hospital room, grinning slightly, "we never got to laugh about pizza beating an ambulance by ten minutes to a house."

Tucker laughed easily at this, as did Sam. It was their little joke now, though inside they were still struggling to accept it. How in the world could a pizza delivery driver manage to beat an ambulance?

Sam didn't want to know. She simply smiled at Tucker, returned his hat, and happily set about petting him on the head.

Tucker didn't care to know. He had enough problems right then with the pain he was feeling and the fact that Sam had suddenly formed a strange attachment to his hair. He had his work cut out for him.

And Danny, he just accepted it as a truth in life, because that's the way it was. He lived that sort of life and he expected those sorts of things now. Yes it had scared him, and no he didn't like it. But now he knew, and he was glad that he could watch Sam fuss and mother a grumpy Tucker.

Because life, thankfully, went on.


	19. Great, Big Elephants

_**Great, Big Elephants  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Um…I rambled. A lot. But I really enjoyed it. Maybe one day I'll re-work this into an actual story with chapters and everything! Hope you have fun with it, and please know, that I know that it has a rather rushed ending...Not edited...not caring right now.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

**Genre**: Um, dash of Romance, with a side of Suspense, and a hint of people finally finding out.  
**Rating**: We'll go with T for the heck of it.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

He was kissing her finally, finally! He was so excited that he barely noticed as they floated up off the edge of the bed. He loved the way she laughed when he lost a bit of control and cold fingers ran up and down her arms. He decided to make her laugh more and mid-kiss he started to transform.

Of _course_, that would be exactly when the door would be thrown open, and of _course_, he would be so shocked that he wouldn't think to drop them to the floor and stop the change. Life had a funny way of throwing awkward situations in his face.

_He'd heard the saying before._

Sam slid off his lap, still supported by his ghostly abilities, their lips coming apart in silence as both his and her parents stood in the door gaping. She left her right hand knotted in his jumpsuit as her left slid out of his snow white hair, down his neck, and finally settled at her own side.

He wasn't daring enough to raise his eyes from the violet ones staring back at him. If he just didn't look up…if he just didn't look up everything would be alright. Time would reverse. He could wrap his arms back around her, kiss her senseless, and have that wonderful feeling of euphoria back.

_The one about elephants and rooms and it had never made sense before._

She nervously reached up and tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear, shaking slightly. One might think it was from the nerves of being caught kissing, passionately, alone in a bedroom. Honestly though, it was from the cold that swirled around them.

Violet was holding green, keeping everything from breaking apart, for at least a few moments more as everyone just stood in shock. Or sat in their case. Of course sitting in mid-air might not exactly count as sitting. It probably more fell under the category of floating or hovering or something like that.

_It hadn't made sense because he'd never experienced it personally._

"Uh, hi Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, Mom, Dad…" Sam tried to break at least a bit of the tension, but he didn't think that anything could be done at this point. He squeezed his eyes shut, even as he pulled her closer to himself, trying desperately to hide from the situation.

'This is not happening,' he thought desperately to himself, 'This is just not happening, not now…'

He'd just gotten the nerve up to kiss her. Everything was going so well and now the cat was out of the bag, Sam looked as if her blush was permanent, his parents were caught between pulling out their guns and staring in disbelief, and her parents look ready to faint.

Wait, her mother was currently doing that.

_Now that he was experiencing it though, it became so obvious what they meant when they said it…whoever 'they' were._

He had no clue why his parents were there, but there they were regardless. The Mansons made more sense, as they were currently in Sam's room, but his parents…

"We saw that a ghost was here again," her father started to explain as he held his wife, stuttering a bit as he went, "on…on the tracker that we bought…so we called…"

"Wonderful," Danny finally got out as he lowered them gently to the ground, making sure Sam's feet were planted firmly on the ground.

"You know you could just disappear," Sam leaned to whisper in his ear, "This would be the one and only time you could do that without me getting unbelievably mad at you…"

"Thanks, but no thanks," he ground out as he turned to face the music. His mother had lowered her gun, staring openly at him in shock. His father had dropped his.

"Danny?" came the questioning name from both their mouths.

_The elephant part was obviously not an elephant. It was an issue, or a problem, or in his case, a secret. And it was starkly, plainly, displayed before everyone and it couldn't and wouldn't be ignored._

"Guess you caught me…" then he froze with a blush on his cheek, before starting to laugh hysterically and choking out, "Not with Sam, I mean…I haven't kissed her before…well, I mean I have, twice, but that wasn't for real…"

"Danny," Sam cut in, still nervously holding onto his arm and standing slightly behind him, "you're rambling and I don't think it's helping…"

The blush on her face as he looked back at her was adorable. He started laughing harder at the absurdity of the situation.

"Why in the world are you even here, Mom? Dad?" he leaned his head down slightly, trying to catch his breath and regain his control, "I mean, not that I'm not glad to see you or anything…"

They were still standing and staring…right, he was still a ghost, still Inviso-Bil, the ghost kid, the enemy's form to them. Danny quickly remedied the situation just as Mrs. Manson finally came to.

She promptly fainted again.

"Does she do that often, 'cause I've read somewhere that it's a sign of…"

"Danny," Sam hit him across the back of his head, "More important _issues_…"

"Right," he sheepishly looked down to where her hand was still gripping his bicep, then looked back to his parents, "You don't hate me now do you?"

"Danny," Maddie stepped forward, her gun dropping as her husband's had, "How could you even think that? I could never hate you."

"I just," now he was struggling desperately, floundering and trying to find the right words, "It's just that Inever told you…"

"Danny boy," his father swooped forward and wrapped him in a bear hug, "You're a ghost hunter! I never thought I'd see the day," a small sniffle escaped the huge man, "You're not afraid of ghosts anymore…"

"How is this even possible?" Maddie joined her husband and gave her son a huge, ruffling his hair, "How can you be Inviso-Bil…and why would you pick such an awful name honey?"

"Because it isn't his name," Sam chuckled, finally making her way out from behind Danny, "We call him Danny Phantom, and so do all his enemies."

"Much better," Jack smiled broadly, "I knew that my son wouldn't have such a ridiculous name."

"Wait a minute, I think we're getting severely off topic," Jeremy Manson stepped forward with his wife in his arms, "We bought that Ghost Radar 9000 because we kept hearing strange noises, and no one would be upstairs when we'd go check…just how often have you been in my daughter's room, young man?"

"Well, I visit just about every night," he blushed a bit more, then the color drained from his face as Sam's father looked like he was about to strangle him, "But I visit Tucker too!"

"That's irrelevant!" he finally got tired of holding Pam and went to lay her on Sam's bed, "It is improper to be in a young lady's room this late at night!"

"Dad, nothing has ever happened!

"How late!?"

"Last night I was here at four in the morning," Danny cut in finally, trying to get the situation back under control, "I needed…some help. Usually Jazz…but she's off at college now…"

"Jazz knew?" Oh his mother and father looked so hurt all of a sudden.

"Yeah, but I'll tell you about that at home," he shook his head. This was spiraling out of control fast, "Look, I only ever come into Sam's room with her permission. I've never spied on her, or done anything to her. I needed help last night."

"With what?" he was softening, finally, but was still skeptical. Sam's eyes lit up. She could take care of that easily.

Sam moved to grab Danny's shirt, but he spun just as quickly to grab her hands, keeping his shirt where it was. He shot her a warning look, not ready for this part of his secret to be shared yet. Sam, however, had different plans, and communicated them by ripping her hands away, shoving the young man forward, and lifting his shirt.

Three gasps were heard, then tears from his mother, a grunt from his father, and a whoosh of breath from Jeremy.

"It's not very pretty," Sam bit her lip, trying to lighten the situation a bit more with her unique sarcasm, "I mean, I've never been very good at taping anything, you know that Dad…"

The large, white bandage, was indeed messily taped to his side. Spots of red were showing through, and that was one of the reasons he was in her room at midnight on a Tuesday. He'd needed the bandage changed and somehow he'd ended up getting kissed first. Danny nearly started laughing again.

_Stupid elephant, it just keeps growing, and now nothing is going to be hidden anymore. I guess this is one way to get it all out._

"So you…" the older man sat heavily on the bed, "You really…"

"Yeah, I really," Danny laughed as he tugged his shirt back down, "Don't worry, it'll heal quickly. I just have to change and stay that way for a while."

"So ghosts heal quickly?" Maddie suddenly was in a very scientific mood, "You heal more quickly than a human would? And what would you classify yourself as? Human, ghost…?"

"I'm a halfa, Mom," Danny smirked, changing before them once more, "Halfa human, halfa ghost, as they like to joke in the ghost zone. Found that one out a long time ago, about a month or so after the accident in the lab. That's what made me what I am."

"Oh," and that was all that came out of her mouth.

"Anyways," Danny nervously shuffled his feet a bit, "We had all better be going home. That way I can find out why you two are here."

"Oh," Jack laughed, "We got a call about ten minutes ago from the Mansons that they had a ghost on their premise and we were the only ones they knew that would come at this hour. You know, this explains why all the equipment always goes off on you doesn't it?"

"Pretty much," Sam grinned, 'This is going much better than we thought it ever would…now if we can wake Mom up and keep her awake through the story.'

"Well, we better be going…"

They all just stood around for a moment more, staring at him…he belatedly realized he was still 'Phantom' and quickly changed to Fenton.

"Uh," he kept a close watch on her father as he leaned in and kissed Sam's cheek, "Night."

"Night," her hand came up to the place his lips were.

"Aw," Maddie turned to her husband, "That was just so sweet…"

"Aw man," Jack snapped his fingers as he turned to trundle off, "Now we have to have another really embarrassing talk. Did you ever give her that ring?"

"Ring?" Sam asked, before her eyes snapped to her desk where the ring was innocently sitting. Realization flickered in her eyes and she was at her desk in a flash, looking at the engraving she had read as 'Wes' a million times over, "Daniel James Fenton!"

"Oh, look at the time, gotta' go…uh, fight something," he nervously backed towards the window, "See you at home, Mom and Dad, night Mr. Manson, uh…Mrs. Manson when you wake up. Please don't kill me!"

Sam lunged at him just as he stepped backwards, out through the wall, "You get back in here right this instant and explain to me how you thought you could get away with giving this to Valerie Gray! Coward!"

"Gotta' run!"

"Wow," Jack breathed out, "Apparently he has the capabilities to use his ghostly powers even while human."

"And apparently he's still afraid of Sam," Maddie wryly grinned, "I'll give him a good talking to at home Sam."

"Oh he's not there yet," she crossed her arms, sternly glaring out the window, "Just because you can't see him doesn't mean that he isn't still floating there. With a _death wish_!"

"Um…I love you?"

"It doesn't count if it's coming from a disembodied voice," Sam glared fiercely, "and it's soooo not going to save your shins at school tomorrow!"

"Most powerful ghost Amity Park has ever seen," Jeremy sat in his own little world, trying his hardest to not chuckle, "that's what all the papers say. And he's terrified of my little girl."

"Of course I am!" Danny's head reappeared through the wall, "Do you know what she can do with those boots?" A leg came through the wall, a hand holding up the pant leg displaying a huge bruise, "That is from her! Little girl my foot!"

"Even _larger _death wish!"

_Now that all his elephants were openly being observed in the room of purples and blacks, he felt a bit better…though as his aching shin reminded him, he was certainly in for it tomorrow._

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_The point is, that an elephant, when present, is noticed.'_  
**--Anonymous**


	20. PMS

_**PMS  
**_By Lacey52  
.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Hi! I really am still alive and here's something to prove it. Enjoy.

**Genre**: Humor/Horror/Parody  
**Rating**: T for the mentioning of the female time of menstration. Squirm, boys, squirm. :D  
.o.O.o.o.O.o.

The rash of wounded students that shuffled through the nurses office that week didn't go unnoticed. Of course it mainly consisted of Dash, Tucker, Danny, and any other male who was around her often enough to piss her off.

"I swear to everything that you hold dear and holy, Dashiel Baxter, that if you don't remove your body from my personal bubble I will tear you limb from limb, borrow the Fenton's weaponry, cook you, roast you, chop you up, and then put my boots to good use and kick you to outer space!"

They were always minor wounds, cuts, abrasions, a bruise or two, and every now and again the patient was just some random kid who happened to always be around her and wanted out of her way. That was how Danny ended up laying in the nurses office, for the third time, sucking on a peppermint candy, and trying to take a break from the hazards that this week presented in the form of one young, petite woman.

"Tucker, I swear to God that if you don't shut your mouth I'll reach in and rip out your tongue."

Her rampage had lasted all of three days so far and every boy covered himself with their books or whatever was handy when passing by. You never knew when those swift, steel toed boots were going to vent their frustration on a certain body part.

Danny sighed as he heard her berate Tucker yet again. He figured that he was only young once, and out of the two of them, Tucker stood a significantly higher chance of having a future. It was time to trade in the peace of the nurse's office and rescue his best friend from his other best friend.

He thanked God on his way out that Jazz and his Mom never got this bad.

Danny knew as soon as Tucker's eyes locked on him what was going to happen in the next few minutes. The pure terror, the unadulterated fear seeping from every pore on his body…and all this from someone who had stood several inches shorter than nearly all their class since the middle of sophomore year.

She was a terror. She was a demon. She was Sam…and it was the time of the cycle of horror that happened once a month.

He looked away from Tucker, bravely told himself that he was a brave, heroic, brave, hero, then tried to keep from trembling in fear as he looked into deep, violently flashing violet eyes. He was convinced that he was lying to himself about all that 'brave' and 'hero' nonsense in about a half second flat.

"Hey Sam," he started cautiously, eyeing her, "Having a good day?"

Wrong.

Wrong question, wrong tone of voice, wrong look, and probably wrong hairstyle for all he knew at that moment in time. He was probably going to die.

"Good day?" Here her eyes narrowed creepily in a glare, "Am I having a good day?"

"Uh," he didn't know what to say and panicked, "That's what I asked wasn't it?"

Big mistake.

"Danny…"

Oh God, here it came, the final, swift killing stroke. It came in the form of a low, suggestive, seductive, deadly whisper.

"You're still alive because you're at school," and with that she walked off, steaming and raging at the world around her in general. A pointed glare over her shoulder told Danny all the rest that he needed to know.

For the next two days he lived at school…his parents thought he had gone missing. Tucker knew it was because it was the only safe place he had left…

.o.O.o.o.O.o.  
'PMS-Possible Murder Suspect._'_  
**--T-Shirt  
**.o.O.o.o.O.o.


	21. Back Alleyway to my Heart

_**Back Alleyway to my Heart  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Aw, so sweet. You can laugh at me all you want, because this is terrible drivel and I am sorry for making you read it, lol.  
Enjoy, but don't complain too much for it not being edited!  
:D

**Genre**: Romance  
**Rating**: K

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

It wasn't often that Danny caught a ghost in under five seconds, but somehow he'd managed it. He'd just been flying around, doing his normal patrolling for a Saturday afternoon when the Box Ghost popped up in front of him, as per normal, staring lovingly at an empty, abandoned cardboard box, also as per normal.

Since the young man was behind the entity, he didn't risk any of his normal witty lines, fearing a chase when all he really wanted to do was finish his rounds and head to the park where Tucker and Sam were currently waiting to meet him. Bringing out the thermos, he uncapped it, caught the ghost, and happily recapped the containment unit.

Whistling as he went, Danny rounded a corner, coming upon another random fan, which he knew from the large amount of his merchandise the young girl was wearing, currently writing in magic marker across a freshly painted white wall. Curious, Danny floated forward silently to read what the girl had been writing. Seeing what she was about to write, Danny decided to step in.

"Graffiti is illegal, you know," and that was all it took for the girl to drop what she was doing and run, not even bothering to see who had spoken to her. It took a few seconds for Danny to stop laughing before he began to look around for witnesses. The boy stood for a second, trying to decide something, then quickly picked up the marker and finished the writing the girl had started in his own way.

Done, he shot into the air, pocketing the magic marker and heading towards the park. He was really looking forward to an afternoon of ice cream and fun in the sun, hanging out with his friends, and most importantly, being in a, for the moment, ghost free town. He just hoped he could keep from blushing at the thought of what he had done.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Hey, Mr. Washborne finally painted his wall," Tucker pointed down a back alleyway, which looked strangely familiar to Danny, "Guess he couldn't keep the graffiti away though…someone's already written on it."

"Let's go see," Sam turned to face the alley, ready to head in just as Danny realized why it looked so familiar, "Maybe he paid someone to do something interesting, or let local kids start drawing."

"No!" Danny's startled yelp brought both Tucker and Sam up short, the pair turning to look at their unusual friend, "I mean, we should just…get home. Nothing to really look at if it's just black and white, right?"

"It could be an outline of something really cool," Tucker pointed out, even as Sam slipped into the alleyway with Danny hot on her heels, trying to reason her out of going closer. Tucker simply shrugged and followed his friends.

"Danny, it's no big deal, let's just go look," Sam finally jerked away from Danny to come face to face with the wall, then sharply turned and snagged Tucker's arm, whirling him away, "On second thought, let's get to the Nasty Burger. I'm starving."

"You just had a three scoop soy ice cream," Tucker tried to argue, but found two angry glares of angry violet and blue-tinged-green eyes and wisely shut his mouth.

"Like I said," Sam continued on her way, "I'm starving."

The blush that had settled over Sam's face and the quiet, blushing Danny had Tucker curious and so he pulled away and rushed back to the wall laughing at what he found. He didn't let Sam and Danny ever forget what that wall had said.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_Phantom love__s_

_S.M._

_3/3/08_

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_Happiness is a white wall and a magic marker.'  
_**--Anonymous**


	22. Giving Up Elucidating

_**Giving Up Elucidating  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: A wonderful reviewer sent me a very sweet email and offered me about five pages of quotes to use. I am overjoyed and delighted and hope that I do these quotes justice. Thank you, times a million, to Raye Johnsen!

Um, it doesn't _exactly_ go with the quote, but I think it's pretty cute. Enjoy!

**Genre**: Humor/Romance  
**Rating**: K+

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Danny had given up.

There was no more a reason to try to explain to every person at his seventeenth birthday party why exactly they were covered in cake and icing, the room had random blobs of ectoplasmic goop, and why his two best friends were laughing hysterically than there was a reason why he was suddenly joining in the laughter, as was his sister.

Things had always been strange in his life, and really, with every explanation he tried to give people just viewed him as more and more unusual.

'Unique, if you go by Sam's standards,' he locked eyes with the girl and pulled her into a cake covered hug, making sure he got some in her hair and a few smudges on her cheek, 'She's gonna' hurt me for that one, but oh well.'

Over the past few weeks he'd been making more and more excuses, explanations, and apologies for everything that might happen, whether it be around his friends or his enemies. Now, as he watched people just shrug and blame it on ghosts, he finally felt himself relax a measure. He hadn't explained to anyone, and they hadn't asked for one…though his parents were looking at him with that, 'You'd definitely better clean up this mess after everyone is gone,' look that he was becoming a little too familiar with.

The party ended, as it started, with a bang, though it was less ghostly oriented and more teenager caused. His family was shaking their heads as they all danced, laughed, and started heading out the door, a few of them a little more tipsily than they really should have been.

"So what really happened?" Valerie intoned, just before she walked out the door, turning in the frame to give him a curious look, "What sort of ghost or what did you do?"

"Dunno'," the halfa answered her with a cheeky grin and a shrug, "You wouldn't believe me anyways…"

"Maybe I would," the girl offered, a hopeful smile on her face as she started to leave, "You never know."

"Nope," Danny shook his head and turned back towards the mess that was awaiting him, 'I don't ever know, but that doesn't mean that I have to explain to anyone. Some people just wouldn't believe me, even if they had seen it happen…and my friends-'

A grin split his face yet again as he walked in to find Tucker already wiping cake off the refrigerator, Jazz and his parents wiping down the counters and the table, and Sam standing at the sink washing all the dishes and utensils used that evening.

His friends and family he never owed an explanation. They simply accepted whatever happened as whatever happened, and as he joined Sam at the sink he felt blessed by that fact. They were always there, always ready to help; even if it was something as massive as a ghost battle, or as simple as cleaning up a mess in the kitchen.

"Lost in your daydreams again, ghost boy?" Sam teased gently, handing him another plate to be rinsed off and dried, "I'm sorry you had to fight on your birthday."

"Are you kidding?" he stopped drying for a moment to run a finger over a clump of icing he'd put across her face earlier and impertinently popped that finger into his mouth, "I got to cover everybody in icing, had a great time at the party afterwards, and won. Best icing I've ever tasted too."

"Danny," a blush settled on her cheeks, even as a smile crossed her lips, "I…"

"Uh uh," a finger was waggled under her nose as the young man snatched the next plate from her hands to be rinsed, "I've decided, no explanations needed, alright?"

"Alright," Danny knew that look, the one with the twinkle in her eyes and that particular curl of her lips. It took him a second to register that that particular form of mischievousness was aimed at him, and only a second more to wrap his arms around the form of the girl who was kissing him in the middle of his kitchen. Breaking away, Sam turned back towards her chosen chore and continued with only a tiny blush on her cheeks and a stunned Danny standing behind her listening to the laughter of his family around him and Tucker's jeering.

"Remember Danny," Sam handed him another plate with a smirk, "No explanations."

Danny had given up, and was loving every second.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.'  
_**--Elbert Hubbard**


	23. Professionally Weird

_**Professionally Weird  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_A note_: Um…yeah. Stems from my view of the word 'weird' as compared to a few other people in my life. Also, the quote was yet another from Raye Johnsen. Thank you sweetie!

**Genre**: Introspective/slight humor  
**Rating**: K

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

When it happened the first time, Danny was in no way prepared to save his two friends, let alone himself, but somehow he pulled through, if only to make sure that Sam was safe and the vengeance of some long dead cafeteria lady was not played out on her hide. The same was true when Tucker made the foolish wish to have ghost powers as well. How Danny pulled through and thought up his plan as quickly as he did, he never really knew.

It wasn't until he started to realize how routine the fights seemed to be getting, how easily Tucker, Sam, and then Jazz slid into fights by his side and offered their assistance, that he really started to see how weird his life was becoming.

He was a fourteen year old boy, a brand new freshman who wanted to be worrying about popularity and girls and money and every now and again school, but rather was worrying about patrolling the town, training sessions, and the lives of every person around him. He wanted to be normal, but was quickly becoming anything but.

Not that he had been anywhere close to normal since his accident in the lab, but still…

Sitting on the couch with Tucker one night while waiting for Sam to arrive at his house for an evening out, hopefully minus the ghosts, he happened across a show about hunting ghosts. Nothing unusual there, except for the fact that Danny found himself critiquing their every move. When a quiet chuckle from his best friend pervaded Danny's senses, he turned to find Tucker shaking his head at something one of the actors had done.

"That was really stupid," the boy commented to the halfa, "For one, what would a locked door do against a ghost? And why in the world wouldn't they just go ahead and use their weapons if they know the ghosts are aggressive? It's sort of stupid to hope that they'd lay off just because they 'come in peace' to their haunt."

"I dunno'," Danny joined in his derisive laughter, giving a snorted laugh of his own as they yet again made a mistake and another member of their ghost hunting team was injured badly, "Ooo, that was dumb. I can't believe he took a swing at that thing. He knew that it passed through a wall, why would his fist be any different? I mean, sure if he could do what I do, it would have been different…and these people call themselves professionals?"

The boys got a laugh out of that and continued their scathing criticism until Sam finally showed up five minutes late and complaining of her parents archaic views and distinct lack of taste where her clothes were concerned. The boys laughed at that too, and soon they were all on their way, though a thought weighed heavily on the halfa's mind.

'I guess we sort of are professionals, aren't we?' he glanced between his two best friends and thought over their personalities, their skills, and just how far all three of them had come from the beginning of the whole ghost debacle, 'We're the outcasts, the losers of Casper High, but three of the best ghost hunters the world will never know about.'

"Are we…weird?"

The question was out of Danny's mouth before he could help it, and both Tucker and Sam gave him a worried look as they'd been walking down the empty street for the past ten minutes in nearly perfect silence. Sam opened her mouth to speak, then closed it as a thoughtful look crossed her face, leaving Tucker to be the one to answer his unusual question.

"I think we're a little weird," the boy shrugged, looking to Sam for support and finding a shrugged agreement as she gave a tight smile, "Danny, you're half a ghost, half a human, I'm the world's biggest techno-geek who can't even get a girl to look at me, and Sam is the Gothic heir to the toothpick-cellophane wrapping company who never eats meat. Society would definitely push us under the 'weird' category."

"Add in the fact that we hunt ghosts more often than we do our homework, and I think 'weird' is a pretty good title for us," Sam shrugged once again and tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket, "I mean, we're out on a Saturday night on patrol for ghosts after we all went to a movie. We should be out causing good old fashioned teenage havoc. We're…weird, but we're…unique because we're responsible and know what we're doing and why."

"We've turned pro," Danny added in his own two cents, enjoying the fact that his friends could still roll their eyes at him, "I don't think anybody but us could handle it anyways."

"Why do you say that?" Sam asked, a playfully confused smile settling at the corner of her lips.

"He means," Tucker draped an arm around each of them as they continued on their way, "We're so weird, that the weirdness doesn't bother us as much. The weird are the ones who can handle the weird situations and the weirdness that got thrust onto our already weird little lives."

"Tucker," the pair shook their heads as they spoke in unison, causing a stereo effect around the boy, "You're weird."

"Point proven, lovebirds," the boy laughed and then was off, the other two friends chasing him down the moonlit street and their echoing laughter sending shivers down the spines of those who considered 'weird' a very dirty word. They didn't care though, after all, they were getting to be professionals in all areas when it came to 'weird'.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

'_When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.'  
_**--Hunter S. Thompson**


End file.
